Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV):
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
Let’s talk about the fruit no one really wants to pick first off the tree — self-control.
Love? Yes, Lord.
Joy? Please!
Peace? Absolutely.
But self-control? Ehhhh. Can I trade that one for a second helping of gentleness?
What is Self-Control?
Self-control is the Spirit-empowered ability to say “no” to the things that pull us away from God and “yes” to the things that draw us closer to Him. It’s the quiet strength to hold your tongue, close the fridge, forgive when it hurts, wake up early to pray, or not send that passive-aggressive text (you know the one).
It’s not about willpower. If it were, we’d all be saints and swimsuit models by now.
No, self-control isn’t something we manufacture on our own. It’s something the Holy Spirit produces in us. That’s why Paul calls it a fruit. It grows — slowly, sometimes painfully — as we walk with Jesus.
Where I Struggle
Let me be real with you. I can hold my tongue in public, but in my head? Whew. That inner monologue can be spicy. I’ve also been known to bake a whole tray of brownies under the guise of “blessing someone,” and then somehow half of them disappear before they ever leave my kitchen.
And don’t even get me started on scrolling Instagram or Tik Tok past midnight, convincing myself it’s “just relaxing” while my Bible gathers dust on the nightstand (or my phone app).
Self-control shows up in the everyday choices — not just the big temptations, but the little ones that seem harmless until you realize they’ve started to shape your habits.
Why It Matters
Proverbs 25:28 says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
In other words, without self-control, we are vulnerable. We leave the door wide open for the enemy to creep in with lies, distraction, shame, and discouragement.
But when the Holy Spirit builds up this fruit in us, we become strong — not in our own might, but in God’s grace. We can choose His will over our feelings. We can choose freedom over bondage.
How We Grow in Self-Control
Here’s the beautiful truth: You’re not doing this alone.
- Stay connected to the Vine. (John 15:5)
Fruit only grows when it stays attached. Keep showing up with Jesus. Every day. - Pray for help.
Self-control is a spiritual battle. Ask the Holy Spirit to empower you where you’re weak. - Renew your mind. (Romans 12:2)
Fill yourself with truth. Scripture changes the way we think, and changed minds lead to changed habits. This is the only weapon we have to help us hold our thoughts captive, and control our flesh! - Practice small disciplines.
You don’t need to go full monk. But maybe say no to that 3rd brownie. Choose water over soda (or alcohol). Read one chapter before scrolling. Whatever it is that you feel the Lord is leading you to let go of…try saying NO once. Then twice. It adds up. - Give yourself grace.
Growth takes time. Fruit doesn’t grow overnight. And God’s not mad at you — He’s cheering you on. He loves you!
Closing Thoughts
Self-control isn’t about living a life of rigid rules and deprivation. It’s about freedom — the kind that comes when your flesh doesn’t call the shots anymore. It’s about becoming more like Jesus, one surrendered moment at a time.
So next time you find yourself face-to-face with temptation (whatever that may be), remember: you’re not powerless. The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in you!
And with Him? All things are possible.
With love from the front porch,
Casandra 🤍
